Thursday, August 2, 2012

Open and Honest

Alright... it's time to pour my heart out... not completely open, but as much as I can.

I'm tired... I'm drained... some mornings, I just want to stay in bed. I even find myself on the verge of tears when I let myself process what has been going on in the past 2 weeks.We just announced to the church last Sunday, that my husband (the senior and only pastor) has gone from full time to part time which also includes a pay reduction. It not only grieves me what Jared and I are going through, but what this means for the church as well. My heart aches for Sand Ridge and the congregation there. I love them all to pieces! I've been all over with my emotions. Sad, angry, hurt, joyful, upset, frustrated, worried, concerned, thankful, etc. Really, any emotion you can name, I've been there!

That first Sunday the decision was made, Jared and I were somewhat in shock. Then as we processed God opened our eyes to what the possibilities could be for him, me, and above all, the church! This could be a great opportunity for SRCC to get back on their feet. We've had a lot happen, but one thing this church knows how to do right is Celebrate! I am determined to celebrate every thing I can in this time. Even in the pain, God is good. All the time.

It doesn't mean I won't have emotions to deal with or even struggle with the reality of where Jared and I are right now, but God is faithful and He is proving that to us as we keep our eyes open to it every day. We are conquerors in Christ Jesus. I bare this burden with great joy, just as Paul did. There is no despair in Him. Only hope. Hope for a better future - for Jared, for me, and for Sand Ridge.

p.s. I have an interview for part time work and will be applying for a full time position at another place soon. God really is opening doors so please join me in praying that I will follow His lead and that Jared will as well.

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